In popular culture, the Love Language Quiz TM is an online questionnaire that people can complete to find out about their love languages. Let’s start with how love languages are assessed. Research is largely inconclusive, although the balance sways more toward refuting rather than endorsing the love languages concept. What does the evidence tell us?ĭespite the popularity of the theory of love languages, only a handful of studies have been conducted and reported over the past 30 years. That is, responding to a partner in a way that meets their needs and wants makes a person feel understood, validated, and cared for. This is an idea that has existed across many models and theories about how relationships function well. In essence, this idea is about tuning in to what a partner wants. However, people experience less satisfaction in their relationships when both partners do not share the same primary love language.Īnother important aspect of the love languages concept is that relationships are likely to deliver the greatest satisfaction when a person can understand their partner’s love language, and act in ways that “speak to” their partner’s language. This is referred to as a person’s primary love language.Īccording to Chapman, people are more satisfied in their relationships when both partners match when it comes to their primary love language.

words of affirmation (such as expressing your admiration, or complimenting your partner).Ĭhapman suggests that people typically use all love languages, but that most people tend to rely on one love language most of the time.gifts (giving your partner a present that communicates thoughtfulness, effort, or expense).quality time (spending time together and giving each other undivided attention).physical touch (demonstrating physical affection, such as giving your partner a hug or kiss).acts of service (doing something that helps a partner, such as running an errand).

And so, he began running seminars for husbands and wives, and the popularity of his seminars grew. He believed love languages were an intuitive and simple way to teach couples about how to tune into each other’s ways of expressing love. It was through his observations of couples that the idea of love languages was born. In his role as a Baptist pastor, Chapman had been counselling couples for years. Each of these love languages is a way to communicate your love to your romantic partner. From the GGSC to your bookshelf: 30 science-backed tools for well-being.Īccording to Chapman, there are five love languages.

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman